Enemies-to-lovers is possibly one of the most popular tropes in the romance genre. As an umbrella term for a few other sub-tropes, it also encompasses other romance tropes that lend very well to tense scenes between two rivals whose attraction to one another is undeniable. Thanks to the versatility and drama, it takes the top spot as my absolute favourite trope.
It’s not that I or anyone else who seeks out this kind of romance enjoys when two characters hate one another, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s refreshing to see people take time to find love as it reflects a more realistic way that we come to truly love people in reality (not that every relationship does or should start with an intense rivalry or simmering hate).
Before I dive deeper into the trope, it’s probably a good idea to be clear on definitions.
What is Enemies-to-Lovers?
A trope can be a recurrent theme, character type, plot element or figure of speech. The enemies to lovers trope at its most basic form is when two characters are introduced as enemies and over the course of a story, end up in a romantic relationship.
The extent to which the two characters are considered ‘enemies’ is important, as the evolution of their relationship must be believable. For a true enemies-to-lovers romance, there must be more than just a simmering dislike between the characters. They must be actively involved in two opposing sides of a conflict.
Even then, tastes differ from wanting full-out antagonising behaviour between the characters to wanting something lighter and more palatable that more resembles ‘hate to love’, which I will talk about a little later. Often this trope can create the perfect space for toxic romances which are deemed okay because it’s ‘alright’ in the end, but I think it’s important to note that being enemies does not have to equate to being abusive.
In my eyes, enemies-to-lovers should involve things like betrayal, reluctant alliances, differing viewpoints or social statuses, hostility, and rivalry. That doesn’t have to involve complete abuse. Any ‘toxic’ elements of the two characters’ behaviour should ideally be eradicated before they reach the ‘lovers’ stage, and should not be a part of their relationship going forward.
Enemies to lovers is also considered an umbrella term of sorts, and a few different romance tropes that differ slightly but have similar ideas are also worth mentioning to help explain enemies to lovers further:
- Friends-to-enemies-to-lovers: In these situations, a past event has caused a rift between two characters who were previously friends but are now enemies and eventually find their way back to one another and fall into a romantic relationship.
- Rivals to lovers: This is a more common form of enemies to lovers found in contemporary literature or settings. Often in contemporary fiction, the stakes are not high enough for true enemies to be formed and so characters who are considered rivals—whether romantically, socially, academically, athletically, or otherwise—become involved in a relationship. (e.g The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern)
- Hate to love: This is another kind of enemies to lovers romance that is common in contemporary literature. As I mentioned before, it is a step down from enemies to lovers in terms of the stakes or tension between two characters. Rather than being enemies or rivals, this type of trope only involves a strong dislike between the characters which does not have to be rooted in an external conflict. (e.g The Hating Game by Sally Thorne)
Why I love Enemies-to-lovers
Ultimately, I appreciate the way a relationship can be drawn out if the enemies to lovers trope is being used. I don’t like the fumbling of instant love or attraction, which feels like a reversal of the way things should be when it comes to forming any long-term relationship, romantic or otherwise. So often with romance, the characters meet, they become romantically or sexually involved, and then they discover exactly why they are totally incompatible, or their relationship remains purely physical or superficial.
It’s almost impossible for this to be the case when an enemies-to-lovers romance is done right simply because of the struggle of the trajectory from pure, unadulterated hatred, to confusion, to questioning, to understanding, to interest, to like, and finally to love. Human beings are inherently judgemental, and these kinds of romances see the characters confront their prejudices, accept someone else’s good points and flaws, and grow as people before they make that connection with someone else.
When two characters are enemies, they are self-serving, and part of being open to loving another person means they must grapple with their selfishness, another issue we all have to a lesser degree. It just melts my freezing heart to watch people find happiness with another person, and enemies becoming lovers is one of the best ways it can be portrayed.
My favourite enemies to lovers romance, and the one I recommend looking at for a perfect example of the trope at its core is in The Cruel Prince by Holly Black, which I mentioned earlier, though it’s worth noting that it is primarily a fantasy story, with the romance as a side plot.
To put my love of this specific story into context, I prefer it when the ratio of enemies to lovers is 70:30. I want to both believe that the characters are truly enemies who truly (truly) despise one another, and then understand fully how that changes, especially if it’s not based solely on physical attraction. Maybe the relationship in The Cruel Prince benefits from having a three-book series to develop, but the characters, Jude and Cardan, antagonise one another for a good portion of the story before they accept their love for one another, and I will forever be obsessed.
If you have one, I would love to know what your favourite enemies to lovers romance is? Or whether you care for the trope at all? Maybe there’s a different trope you love? Whatever it may be, I’d love to hear it!
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