Have you ever been asked to lend out one of your books and been unsure about how to respond? Me too, but I’ve learned that as a reader, it’s best to be prepared for this question if it comes your way.
Many book lovers, for good reason, refuse to lend out their books. This is usually due to either bad past experiences or personal preferences, and there is nothing wrong with making this choice. Even friends can disrespect your belongings, so it’s no surprise that most book lovers advise against trusting anyone with your precious books. Even if you think you’re okay with other people temporarily possessing your books, chances are you may still be shocked by the result.
So, before you lend anything out, protect your books and your feelings with these tips:
Establish Clear Rules
If you’re going to lend out your books, you’ll need to have some boundaries in place that whoever is borrowing the book should not cross. This sounds dramatic, but it’s important to be clear in general, for everyone involved. Don’t just expect your friend or whoever you might be borrowing a book to know what condition you expect your book to be returned in because that tends to be a personal thing. Some people are fine with their books going on journeys and telling a story through the rips and spills and folded pages, others are not.
If you would like the book to remain in a certain state and be returned to you in one piece at a certain time, be clear and kind about it.
Pick the Right Friend
You know your friends best and will have some idea of how they might treat your book. Even a small amount of doubt should be enough to prevent you from lending a certain person anything. You should give yourself permission to say, ‘no’ if you do not want to lend someone a book if they ask. Whether they are a close friend or an acquaintance, you should always make your choice wisely to prevent yourself from either never seeing a book again, or enduring tension in a relationship because they could not follow your rules. Ultimately, the book belongs to you, and you don’t owe anyone anything.
Ensure You Can Handle Accidents
Unfortunately, it’s not even worth lending anyone your books if you would find yourself upset when faced with an accidental spill, fold, or tear. Life happens, and books are not exempt from life. If you are going to lend out your books, you should consider how possible instances like this are and whether you would be okay with them occurring.
It’s one thing knowing someone made no effort to look after your book. It becomes entirely different when they are apologetic for whatever happened to your book while it was in their care. If you’re still upset, this is unfair to the person who borrowed it. So, if you cannot handle an accident destroying your book, don’t lend it out.
Be Clear that you would Like it Back
This goes hand in hand with establishing clear rules, but I felt it was important enough a point to isolate. Some people take, “Sure, you can borrow it” to mean, “Sure, you can keep it”. If you want the book back, make sure you clearly state that. You don’t want any blurred lines if you would like to see the book again.
Alternatively, Don’t Expect it Back
When you lend out your books, there’s a good chance you won’t get them back either within a reasonable time frame or ever. Consider this before you offer someone a book as life can get in the way and anything can happen after the book is no longer in your possession. It will save you a lot of heartache. This leads me to my next point.
Choose the Right Books
Don’t pick your favourite edition of your favourite book to lend out. You’ll be even more devastated if/when something happens to it if you do. Pick an older book or a book you care less about if you would like to lend one to a friend because that way, hardly any of the above points will matter. Removing the emotional connection to the book itself and attaching it to the story alone is probably the best way to go about lending your books, as it prevents the object from having too much power over you.
If after reading this you’re still not sold, you could always admit it’s too much of a dangerous minefield for you to tread through and not bother lending out any of your books at all. If you find yourself struggling to come to a decision, just cut your losses and suggest your beloved friends buy their own books if they want to read them so badly.
How often do you lend out your books?
Read 'N Riot 